Women Make The World Go Round

Posted in This is now on November 2, 2010 by Jane

Relationships….its time to dig a bit deeper. Lately I’ve had some things going on in my life, relationships starting, relationships ended in the last year, and then suprisingly start again but in a different capacity. So here is my question for you guys. Are you friends with your ex? In my lifetime, in all the relationships I’ve been in, which isn’t that many, a handful of serious ones, I always come out on the other side as a friend to that person. To me its normal, to others, it appears to not be as normal. I do realize that in most circumstances its tough at first, and its not as though I feel the need to be that person’s bff as soon as we break up but I think that as a relational human being its natural. Also, in the lesbian community, there are so many weird and strange dynamics that come into play that its sometimes mind boggling. Girl meets girl. Girl becomes friend with girl. Girl suddenly thinks other girl is hot. Girl and girl get together. Girl and girl enter relationship. Girl and girl are connected at the hip. They are best friends, companions, lovers, inseperable. Then at some point, something happens. It either cements their relationship or breaks them apart. Lets all face the facts, there is nothing like a woman scorned. The darkness comes out. It ain’t pretty. So then girl and girl end things. Problem is, girl + girl had a lot of friends together, so how do all those friends fair out in the big picture?

Anyhow, I’ve just had the chance to sit back and watch some interesting dynamics unravel lately surrounding women and break ups. I don’t refer to only lesbo breakups, I have a couple straight friends too (**gasp, I know…shocking**) and thats a whole other can of worms. Seriously.  So I guess I’m kind of rambling incessantly here but its just I’ve had a lot on my brain lately. So chime in….are you friends with your ex? If so…how is that for you?

Blah Blah Blah

Posted in Uncategorized on September 21, 2010 by Jane

I am sitting here at work pondering the fact that I would like to put up a blog post, yet not feeling like I have a single good thing to contribute. Its been raining for the last several days, and to be honest…its kind of exhausting. Seriously. I will also mention that we’ve been sick around our house so not only is it yucky out and we are missing the sun desperately, we have also been housebound. Well sort of. I did however just check the forcast because I am scheduled to take work photo’s tomorrow and we already had to reschedule yesterday because of miserable weather! BUT….BUT….I have the best news. Check this out….

I know some of you live in warmer climates *ahem*, and while I think its fabulous you have warmth, you have no idea how dismal this can be. Just to give you southern gals how cool it is, its 42 F out today. Ridiculous. It even snowed in some areas close by here today. I never saw a flake. Thank god, it may have thrown me into a complete tantrum.

Other fabulous news as of late, we had a birthday party for Max and Sam this weekend! It was a limo partay. A complete success in my opinion.

They were pretty excited as you can see. There are many things that make me giggle about this picture. Some of the faces honestly just crack me up. Ok  well I suppose thats all I really have for today.

Hope yall are having a fabulous day!

Much love

Jane

Rainy Day

Posted in This is now, Uncategorized on September 19, 2010 by Jane

This morning when I was laying I bed, as I do many a morn, I check my google reader. So this Sunday wasn’t very different from many others, although truth be told my imagination was sparked. As a 30-something, the whole imagination thing can sometimes be few and far between in its moments of sparked-ness. I read a post from one of my long time blogs that I have checked in on for years. Today, Meredith talks about “Where do you stand?” and I immediately had to go and check out her pics. She posted about shoes and how they can tell a story or perhaps make you remember something about where they/you’ve been. I laid in bed and had some thoughts about her post and left it at that. This afternoon however, I was out and about. Wishing and wanting to do more then was really possible as its pouring rain out today. It seems as though we have had the most rain in years. In fact I know that this year is setting records for the amount of drops falling from the sky. I kinda feel like this picture sums up most of our spring/summer/fall here in Alberta. Le sigh.

Time Flies When You’re Having Fun

Posted in This is now on September 11, 2010 by Jane

Suddenly fall is on our doorstep and I have just taken the solemn oath to blog more. I miss it. And if I’m going to be honest here, my head is filling with a lot of blog posts lately, I need to empty it. So with that said, forgive me as I get my proverbial writing shoes back on. They feel a little awkward right now, but I’m sure I’ll work em in quickly. Sometimes I wonder why I launch so easily into speaking in third person. I may or may not have a profile up on a site somewhere in this world where I describe myself completely in third person. But seriously….those sites are horrible to write profile’s on in the first place so I can justify my third person-ness.

With all of this said, I wonder where to begin again. I can’t honestly believe most days that its fall. Summer flew by, in fact most days I question whether or not we even had summer. I know we did, but thats only because I was forced to figure out child care while all my gaggle was out of school. I’m pretty happy to have settled back into a schedule of regularity once again. Work is still fabulous. I have never been so happy doing what I do. My only complaint is just getting the time to do everything I need to do. Overall I have the best work family I could ever imagine. This week it was my boys birthday, and my boss (the prez) brought me out two cards. One for Max, one for Sam. Both sealed shut, gift cards inside and he made all my staff sign them for the boys. It was so sweet I could have cried. I’ve never had a boss care enough about my family to give us presents and cards for the kids. Also, to top it off….we have a limousine service that advertises with us and Max had mentioned to me one day that he would like a limo for his birthday, my first thought was ‘ya right….as if I can afford that, let alone get a limo for my 7 yr old’, my next thought was, ‘hmmm, I should post this to facebook, at least I know that our ads for the station work’. So I wrote an update that consisted of me stating cynically that Max wanted a limo…and my boss sent me a message within 1/2 an hour saying we could use contra for that. Sometimes it feels surreal and I just can’t believe I am doing what I do and loving it the way I do. I never ever imagined I would be where I am right now. It feels great, I feel blessed beyond words these days.

Forgiveness

Posted in This is now on July 1, 2010 by Jane

I have been digging lately, going into myself and really trying to figure some stuff out. Its never easy to look within and try to disect whats been going on in your life. I know that I have made some mistakes, I know that I have hidden inside of myself for years rather then express my emotions in the right ways. I’ve realized that its the way I process, the way I am and that to an extent its ok. But…I’ve also realized there are better ways to be. This is the key point here, I can change the way I see things, I have begun to change the way I process my hurts. I have been pushed lately by a friend of mine, she challenges me when I retreat, but the great part is that she comes at it from love and I know that, so when she pushes it feels ok, it doesn’t cut to the bone and hurt and feel judgemental. Its interesting how things can be when you see them as truth and not judgement. I was reading this morning, drinking my coffee and having some quiet time before everyone woke up. As I read I realized a few things in the few short pages I had gotten to; the book talks about diseases or dis-eases as she refers to them. It talks about how many of us have a dis-ease within our body. How true is that? It goes on to talk about most illness we feel comes from a lack of forgiveness within our lives for others. This can hold you back from really feeling wellness in your life. I get that. It resonates with me. I have held onto a lot of stuff, its hard to let go. But lately I have been working on that. I’m not sure whats in my nature to hold onto the past but I know from some sessions that have taken place I have held onto stuff that goes back 18 years now. To when my best friend died. I have held onto past relationships, easily pointing out the bad stuff, what ruined them. I have pointed fingers, judged people for what they thought was right. We all have issues, who doesn’t right? I guess whats most important is that I am now seeing forgiveness in a new light. Its opening me up, releasing the stuff. In the book I’m reading it says, ‘The very person you find it hardest to forgive is the one YOU NEED TO LET GO OF THE MOST. Forgiveness means giving up, letting go. It has nothing to do with condoning behavior. Its just letting the whole thing go. We do not have to know how to forgive. All we need to do is be WILLING to forgive. The Universe will take care of the hows.’
The line that I bolded out hit me because I think thats what I’ve held onto. I’ve manifested this anger that stayed with me because the way people have treated situations. The behaviors or actions of the people that caused to to feel the way I’ve felt isn’t cause for me to hold onto anymore. It is what it is. Letting go is a relief. I feel it today. I’m happy to say that allowing the ‘hows’ to be taken care of feel even better. I often get too into my mind, wondering if I’m really letting go of the past hurts but just putting it all out there and allowing my world to change is a fantastic feeling.

I hope you are blessed today. Its Canada Day and an amazing time to celebrate the beautiful place we live.

Always

Jane

It’s Friday.

Posted in This is now on March 26, 2010 by Jane

Aujourd hui, c’est vendredi. Je suis tres amuse. Ok…ok, I’ll stop typing in french. I’m just in that kind of a quirky mood. I have just over an hour left till my weekend and I couldn’t be more excited. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had the most amazing work week ever, not to mention the fact that my week has flown by, but I feel like I’ve been running for the last week straight and I can’t wait to go home and enjoy my weekend. I have to finish the other house this weekend, cleaning out the remnants that I haven’t made it to this week and hand the house back to the owner. It will feel great to finally be done with that and outta there for good.

So whats new in your world? I finally got my internet hooked back up and am in touch with the outside world again, need to catch up on my blog reader. I am way behind.

Hope you all have a great weekend. Think I’m heading out to a bon fire/party tonight. Its not really bon fire weather but will be fun to get out and be social.

Here’s to fresh starts

Posted in Uncategorized on March 13, 2010 by Jane

Bonjour. Not entirely sure of where this here little blog is going to go again, I had made everything password protected or private previously but that’s mostly because of nasty things which shall remain unnamed on my blog. I’ve really missed blogging, a lot. I find myself thinking ‘ooohh, that could be a blog post’ but then I end up tweeting it in 140 characters or less, and well…if there is anything I am not, its short-winded. I do however love twitter, it’s a definite favorite. Its a connection like no other that is fun, and informative and in all seriousness, a very viable way to connect with others in whatever ways you seek.
To bring you up to speed on my life. I have just received an awesome job offer at a new local radio station. It’s what would be considered an entry-level position, but I’m pretty stoked regardless. It’s social, its fun, its high paced, busy, varied. Cannot wait to start.
I’ve also been connected with a guy from South Africa, he’s a photographer who is publishing his first book and needed to find someone who could help him with editing. He specializes in Wild Life photography and is collaborating with Sabi Sabi Private Game Reserve in the Kruger National Park. It’s really impressive and his photo’s are beyond amazing. Its my pleasure to be working with him and just adds to my amazement of photography. 
On a more personal note, things have ended with Louise and I. I’m not going to get into it on here, no need. I guess it’s just a part of life. So moving on for both of us is tough and a tad difficult as with any major life decisions. I am however extremely optimistic about where my future is heading and am feeling quite calm and peaceful about our decisions. So no need to worry about me. Mkay? I’m good. (talk to me in a week when denial kicks in, haaaa)

Hope you have a fabulous weekend. I’m off to my mothers house and have a consult today for a photo shoot. Bye for now!!

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